What is Christmas?
by Black-Angel-001
Summary: There's so much hype and commercialism that goes into Christmas now, that we sometimes forget what it's really about. First person POV, some fluff, lots of introspective thinking.


**What is Christmas?**

**Black-Angel-001: just in time for the holidays, a christmas oneshot with introspection and some fluff, 'cause i like fluffy things. you can take practically any guy from gw and stick him with the main pov. i use verses from Luke 2:1-14, only slightly trimmed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GW.**

**What is Christmas?**

It was the beginning of the end, if that makes any sense. Ever since the end of November, there's been nothing but a mad..._rush_ to get lights up on the house, presents bought and wrapped, Christmas cards to give, trees to find and decorate, pies and cookies to bake, the juggling of schedules to attend the all important Christmas dinner. So, understandably, I'm a bit frazzled out, and just praying for this holiday to be over, which is kind of funny since I'm not a praying man.

Christmas is frustrating to say the least. Every year it gets harder to cope, harder to say 'Merry Christmas' and mean it, to say it without a grimace. I just don't see the point in buying a bunch of things for people who will either return or exchange, throw or give away, use once or not at all. What's the point to the trees, and lights, and fruitcake? Does Christmas even have a point? Did it ever? I'm not so sure anymore just what exactly the point of Christmas was, besides being a pain.

Even while I'm contemplating these things, even while I'm running throught my list of my own family and of my friends and their families trying to figure out if I forgot to get something for someone and if there was enough time to go and get a gift, I'm moving to sit in a very uncomfrortable theatre chair, my wife and children following. When my back end hits that seat, I wonder, briefly, what I'm doing there.

Right. A Christmas play.

I've never really been to one, not being all that at ease sitting in the dark with complete strangers all around me. It takes me back to days long gone and prefferably forgotten. But here I am, gettin ready to sit through my first Christmas play without any real clue what it's about. _'The Night Before Christmas'_? _'A Christmas Carol'_? _'It's a Wonderful Life'_?

My wife pokes me in the arm, gaining my attention. She frowns a bit, nodding toward the stage. That's when I realize that the lights have been dimmed and the production started, all through my wool gathering.

The stage is simply decorated. A brightly colored evergreen tree with colorful packages underneath on stage right, a nativity with shepards and animals included on stage left, and in the background a large, white and silver star cut from cardboard almsot i nthe shape of a cross, hung against a stary backdrop. In center stage, a set of risers with children, all dressed in their Sunday finest, stood singing _'God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen'_. When they finished, the followed with a few more carols before some adults came to move the risers and the kids began _'The Night Before Christmas'_.

It was...cute. They sometimes missed lines or cues, or stumbled over some words, but they finished with a flourish; 'Santa' dashing around stage yelling, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" and nearly running into the set ups. Then the kids clumped together after taking their bows, some going to the now off to the side risers and quietly singing.

One little girl, her dark hair in a Frenchbraid, stepped forward and a spotlight shone on her. She waited, looking out at the crowd I'm sure she could barely see with such a serious face I wanted to laugh. My wife stopped me before I could.

" 'And Joseph...went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Juedea, to the city of David, which is called Bethelehem...with Mary his betrothed, who was with child. And she gave birth to her first-born song and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.' "

About halfway through the second sentance I'd realized that this was a bible verse, although I couldn't tell you which one, and that the choir in the background was singing '_Silent_ _Night'_. Then, another child came up to stand next to the girl and I grinned when I saw that his bright blue tie was slightly askew. Knowing his mother personally as I did, I knew she was groaning to herself about it. There was some shuffling in the back, and the pause gave me a moment to think about the careful, pronounced way the kids were talking, which told me the lines had been rehearsed multiple times. But there was something else about them, something else in the seriousness on their faces. A light of...joy. Happiness. Anticipation. When I really stopped to take it all in, it almost felt like the entire room was joyfully waiting for something greater than gifts or Santa Clause.

What surprised me most was that I was joyfully waiting right along with everyone else, only I wasn't sure what for.

The music had changed again, this time to _'The First Nowel'_ and the little boy smiled to his audience.

" 'And in that region there were shepards out in the field...And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said, _Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find the babe wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger_.' "

The spotlight returned to the girl, who said, " 'And suddenly there was with the angel a mulittude of heavenly host...' " Behind her, the choir began 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing' as suddently as the girl had described, making me wonder if I wasn't really in a field full of shepards and angels. " '...praising God and saying, _Glory to God in the highest, and peace on_ _earth, and goodwill among men!_' "

With that, the choir got louder, filling the whole theatre with music.

"_Joyful all ye nations rise, _

_Join the triump of the skies! _

_With angelic hosts proclaim: _

_'Christ is born in Bethlehem! _

_Hark!' the herald angels sing, _

_'Glory to the newborn king!'_ "

I'm not sure what it was, but something seemed, felt, different. Somehow, I wasn't as stressed or worried or angry or bitter about Christmas. I found I was sort of looking forward to tomorrow, to Christmas Day.

There was a gentle touch on my arm that should have made me throw the person down, but instead made me relax; I knew who that was after all. I turned and smiled at my wife and she smiled back. Then I blinked and saw that the show was over and people were leaving, our own kids were clustered around my four brothers, their uncles.

Maybe the soilder in me was fading, if I had gone through the movement of everyone around me without flinching. My wife's hand squeezed breifly on my arm.

"What are you thinking about so hard," she asked, voice soft. I brushed some of her hair out of her face, then brought my hand to rest on her cheek. She leaned into the touch and her smile grew wider, blue eyes reflecting her love.

"I feel...good. Really, really good. At peace and..." I stopped speaking, trying to figure it out. "My God, love, I feeling like I'm finally seeing the bigger picture of what this holiday is."

She didn't laugh at me, and I knew that she knew exactly what I was talking about, knew as sure as I knew how many kilometers it took to get to the moon from earth, precisly what I had just almost figured out. So, she didn't laugh, but she did ask, "And what is the bigger picture?"

I sighed, taking my hand was from her face to run it through my bangs. "Something...so much more...so much bigger than just us. Something that is so awe inspiring that it's hard to put in words."

"You're right. Christmas isn't about gift giving, or recieving, carols, or trees, or decorations, or any of the other commercial related _earthly_ objects and traditions," she said warmly, emphasising that word 'earthly'. "It's about connecting, keeping, nurturing, and loving what's here," she touched her palm right over my heart, "and up there," she finished, pointing to what was beyond the ceiling.

I was overcome with the urge to kiss her, so I did, ignoring the whistles from my friends and the 'gross' comments from my kids. When we pulled back, she whisphered, "Merry Christmas."

I smiled and whisphered back, "Merry Christmas."

And you know, for the first time in a very long time, I really meant it.

**_Merry Christmas._**

**Black-Angel-001: hope you enjoyed, and have a safe and very merry christmas. God bless!**


End file.
